My horrid experience on Dana Air

Realwvn Adesegun 
Dreams can be deceptive, though some say it's a rhema to futuristic events. Sometimes they offer you a chance to dine in the world's most expensive hotel, the pleasure of owning a yacht, being stabbed or beaten to a pulp by your step-mother.

I remember my first experience inside Dana airline, all my life, I have never travelled outside the border, never been close to an airport. Like every young boy dream, I wanted to go around the world, I wanted to see Paris and die.

The day finally came, I marched towards Muritala Mohammed Airport, it was a wonderful feeling, I couldn't wait to see what a plane really looks like on the inside, is the seating arrangement a replica of a Lagos danfo or an Oshodi mass transit? God forbid.

The plane finally took off, I didn't notice I had been sitting next to a beautiful girl, I was in awe of the splendour a man like me invented. She had the most beautiful set of eyes I have ever seen, dark and lovely. While I was still extolling her beauty, suddenly we heard a loud noise from the back, it was a baby's cry.

Not only that, there was an argument between the baby's parents on where it was written and enforced that only  mothers were to change diapers or if there was any law stating it's solely the woman's responsibility to change diapers every four hours.

The argument got intense, some men in the plane argued since that since they were saddled with responsibilities like  providing for the family, paying the bills, mowing the lawn and fixing the cars , that certain duties shouldn't be assigned to them.

Before another man tried to give his reason, a woman interruptedly  cut him off, saying "Women, not slaves " she said, "if you can't change diapers, don't have babies, if you aren't ready to have a baby then sex is not for you", she went on and on. All the time this was going on, I never said anything, the bible says listen before you speak. 

After gathering enough information, I summoned David's courage and a little gusto from Hitler. I told everyone to calm down, I started by telling them how a Godly marriage ought to be. I stressed on how responsibilities should be shared in the family, though some men are not motivated to do housekeeping and child care, but both parties are responsible for their babies. 

I said " It is important as a man not to think your responsibilities in the house are a monumental sacrifice", "a solid marriage usually begins with willingness of the spouses to share domestic responsibilities, the more a woman perceives that her husband is engaged in routine family work tasks, the better the relationships for both partners". Everywhere was calm. 

After I said all I to, people cheered, they chanted 'you are a god" Immediately, I became the 'solomon' of our time!

The whole time I was speaking, it didn't hit me- the beautiful girl I was sitting next to was already planning to ask me out on a date!

surprisingly, as the plane touched down, not only her but other girls on the flight were begging for my phone number. Some asked for my autograph and my house address!
Heaven knows I was just about to give them all they asked. 

Just then, I woke up from my spasmodic dream.


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